Friday, July 11 – Sunday, July 12
The flight on Friday almost did not happen. After going to bed very early on Thursday and getting up at 4am to pack on Friday, I finally had everything set for my departure. However, when I tried to check in online, I discovered my flight was now set for Saturday night! Since it was a red-eye, there was no way I wanted to get to Copenhagen on Sunday morning and then go to work on Monday. Luckily, I found out that the cost for moving me back to the Friday night flight was zero. The change was made, and I then got to book it to the airport.
The cab ride was fine, and traffic on 285 played along. I tried to call my grandma from the car, but she couldn’t hear me and hung up. Mom tried to call me while I was in line for security, so I couldn’t talk to her either until I got through security and to my gate. She then called my grandma back who finally reached me before I was called to board the aircraft.
Thankfully, I had an aisle seat. The Danish man sitting next to me asked if I wanted to switch, and I quickly said no. The words I used were, “I hate the window!” He said something about his legs, but when I stood up to let him in, I was a good 6 inches TALLER than he was! I settled in for a nearly 10 hour flight.
As usual, I could not sleep in cattle car class. They played “17 Again” which wasn’t a bad movie as far as these Disney-light films go. I did not have any interest in the remake of “Race to Witch Mountain” so I read my Reconstruction book instead. Nothing like having about 8 hours of solid reading to get through a book! I did not quite finish it but got close.
The food on the plane wasn’t bad. I only bought one drink, and they gave us wine for dinner. None of it knocked me out, though. I never managed to get comfortable, but that is not unusual for these long flights.
We landed on time about 9:30am in Copenhagen. Deplaning was efficient, and the immigration was a breeze. I am almost embarrassed by what we put visitors to the US through when they enter and leave the country. Lots of forms, long lines, and even more forms when you leave! Not to mention eye scans and fingerprints. Demark does none of this stuff. I presented my passport, and the very bored looking agent glanced at it, snorted, and handed it back. He did not say a word, and that was the extent of my screening! I understand why we screen the way we do, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.
I quickly discovered upon retrieving my luggage that I had not set the pin code on my government travel card. Here in Denmark, they have gone totally over to a chip system, where when you use a credit card, you enter a pin code each time. I had to use my personal credit card to buy the S-train ticket from the airport to the Norreport station where I needed to get off for my hotel. I will need to figure out how to call the credit card company to set my pin or I could be in trouble, unable to get advances or anything. Considering the cost of the train ticket from my hotel to work is 21DKK (about $4.50 US) each way, I will need my card before this trip is over.
Since I arrived so early, my hotel room was not ready. I did not expect it would be, so I waited in the reception area for about 90 minutes until my room was ready. By this time, I was crashing, but managed to stay awake. At one point, this older guy came in to get some coffee and openly leered at me. I am pretty certain he was flirting with me, although he did not say a word. In case I did not understand the first time, he came back and did it again! That was certainly interesting, albeit unexpected.
Finally, my room was ready. The first problem was that the elevator button for the 5th floor did not work, so I had to go up to the 6th floor and walk down. I made it to my room, which wasn’t bad. I think my old room at the Hellerup was about as big, but it felt bigger because the Hellerup only gave me a single bed. This room has a double, which is nice. There is a step down “study” area which is my bonus room. It has a desk, chair, and a high backed reading chair. I will have to post some pictures. There is a small TV that only plays Danish national TV, but they sometimes play American shows at night. The bathroom is typically Danish: all tile with a toilet and an open shower next to it. The shower is no way separated from the rest of the bathroom except by a curtain. The floor is sloped towards a drain, but there is no separate shower basin.
I finally crashed and was able to sleep for a while. I got up about 8:30pm, but I didn’t think it was that late because it was still quite bright outside. The sun didn’t start to set until 10pm, when I went out on the town. Unfortunately, not much is open for food that late, so I couldn’t eat. I wasn’t that hungry anyway. The nice thing about Copenhagen is that the gay scene is pretty much on two streets close together. It is maybe a 10 minute walk from my hotel, which is nice.
I first went to Masken, which was packed. This is very different from the last time I was in Copenhagen in 2007 during the winter where the crowds were sparse. Wall to wall boys with some girls mixed in. I got a beer and mostly stayed to myself. I have found that when I am in a foreign situation, especially where I don’t speak the language, I tend to get very shy and just stand back and watch, waiting for someone to approach me. That approach was not working well, so I went up to the bar for a refill. As I sat there, a girl accidently bumped me and excused herself in Danish, and I replied “No worries” to which she asked, “Are you Australian?” I am certain no one has ever mistaken me for an Australian, and she explained that my “no worries” comment was something Australians usually say. I told her I picked up the saying in Africa. She chatted with me for a while, and welcomed me to Denmark and reminded me that Danes are very friendly; if I speak, they will almost always speak back.
It was around this time that I had my 2nd bizarre experience at being hit on. This pretty good looking white-blond Dane clearly cruised me with his eyes. I held his stare, and then he came over to where I was, set his beer down, and continued to look at me and smile. I said hello, but he did not respond, instead grinning more widely and leaving the bar. When I left about a half hour later, I ran into him, and the only thing he said was, “Do you want to fuck me?” This kind of thing NEVER happens to me in the US.
I next got stopped in the street by a British couple named Philip and Chris. Well, Chris was British, and his boyfriend Philip was Portuguese. They both worked for a private clinical practice in London where Chris was a doctor an Philip a nurse. They asked me where the Jailhouse bar was, and I happened to be headed there, so I took them. They invited me to have a drink with them, which I did. It was Chris’s 38th birthday, so they were celebrating for the weekend. I had a great time with them both, and Chris was drunk enough that he was talking to anyone and everyone. We met a guy who had been on my flight from Atlanta who was taking a Holland America cruises of the Baltic Sea the next day. After many pints of beer, several rounds of shots, and lots of laughter, we headed to the after hours Cosy Bar.
There we drank some more, and danced. They were so much fun. I doubted that the situation was headed to a hot threesome, but I went along with it. I even ran into a guy named Nigel who had been my friend David’s head resident in Miles Hall at VT before David was the Head RA there. Such a small, random world where you run into someone you could have easily known in rural Southwest Virginia at an after hours gay club in Copehagen, Denmark at 4am! Finally, Chris and Philip were ready to crash. They asked me to meet them at the Little Mermaid statue at 2pm for a late lunch since I did not have a working phone number to give them. When I walked out of the club, it was 5am and the sun was UP.
I slept pretty well at the hotel, but managed to get up in time to head to the Little Mermaid. Unfortunately, Chris and Philip did not show up, even though I stayed until 2:30pm waiting. I wish I had gotten an email or something. They had taken some good pictures throughout the night that I would have loved a copy of. I guess it’s just one of those experiences that will have to live in my memory. It would be completely random to ever run into them again, although I would like to since they were so much fun.
I had a very late lunch (4pm) not far from my hotel, and then decided to see a movie. I saw Borat, which was very interesting. It was a bit graphic, and the whole cage fight scene in Arkansas was a frightening portrait of the very real dangers faced by gay people in the rural South.
I did not stay out very late on Sunday because my feet hurt. My new sneakers had rubbed my ankles raw, and I had no band-aids to cover up the spots. I also didn’t want to be exhausted for my first day at the office. I set my iPhone up to be an alarm and basically crashed.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Watch Out Scandanavia! Here Comes Starbucks
In my daily news from the US Embassy came this tidbit:
One of the most charming things about Denmark that I have discovered is that the small store is alive and well. There are chains, but they compete with small, entreprenurial shops run by families. This is something the US has lost in the last 50 years of suburbanization and the ever present pursuit of "a bargain." Denmark, and the rest of Scandavia would do well to guard against this particular American phenomenon.
McDonalds, Burger King, 7-11 – and now Starbucks. As the latest US global
consumer phenomenon, the Seattle-based international coffee giant will open its
first outlet in this country at Copenhagen Airport on the 1st of June, in
response to demands from coffee-thirsty travelers. A spokesman for Copenhagen
Airport Au-thorities said: 'Everybody keeps asking why there is no Starbucks at
the airport so we've made a massive effort to attract the company here. It's a
massive compliment to us that we will be home to the first Star-bucks in
Scandinavia.'
One of the most charming things about Denmark that I have discovered is that the small store is alive and well. There are chains, but they compete with small, entreprenurial shops run by families. This is something the US has lost in the last 50 years of suburbanization and the ever present pursuit of "a bargain." Denmark, and the rest of Scandavia would do well to guard against this particular American phenomenon.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Immigrant Integration - Danish Style
A touchy subject in Denmark (not to mention the United States) is immigration. Denmark was one of the first to enact strict immigration rules in the wake of 9-11. The country has received criticism for this stance. They have also closed the doors to further immigration by Iraqi refugees, preferring instead to send money to Jordan or Syria where many of those refugees now live. Critics of the Iraq War have said that Denmark, until recently a key member of the "coalition of the willing", is morally obligated to take in refugees that they helped create. Perhaps there is a ring of truth to that, but this is not the main topic for my post today.
The question I am pondering is what does it mean for an immigrant to integrate into his/her adopted nation? The United States is a land of immigrants, but we have struggled with that throughout our history. At various points of US history, the Irish, the Italians, the Eastern Europeans, and finally, the Latinos have all received ferocious push back from "US born" citizens. Currently, we have seen much bigotry from the GOP on the matter of suppressing the use of Spanish or enacting draconian measures to stop illegal immigration.
Yet, as a nation of immigrants, the US is unique in that there is an understanding of what it means to be American, at least on the basic level. We have a set of ideals, which we sometimes do not fulfill very well, that guide us. These ideals are embodied by the Declaration of Independence and the United States Constitution. Our system of government and concept of liberty is what defines us as Americans, although we fight vociferously about what it all means exactly. There is now an argument whether the English language is essential to the American identity, since our founding documents are all in English and we have traditionally spoken English. I do not know the answer to that question, although in our public life together as Americans, I think we should agree to conduct ourselves in English. I also do not want to deny anyone their heritage or their language, because it is our diversity of backgrounds that has made the US strong.
The Danish are struggling with what it means to be Danish. They do have a constitution, but Denmark itself as a land and a people are far older than that document. The Dane are an ancient people whose ancestors were Vikings and who once ruled all of Scandanavia. As Africans and Muslims flood to Europe to escape hardships in their homelands, the question of integration has risen its ugly head.
In today's US Embassy news update, there was discussion of a new report coming out today. It asks: Should men have precedence over women when applying for a job? And is it OK to demand to be examined by a doctor of one's own gender? According to a report to be published today by a group called "Think-Tank for Better Integration" (sounds like an anti-immigrant group named by a Republican...like the jokester who named Bush's open pollution law the "Clear Skies Initiative"), the answer to both questions is no – but according to many immigrants from non-Western countries the answer is yes.
The report, based on a survey of the attitudes and values of foreigners in Danish society, states that many immigrants' "cultural baggage" plays a decisive role in their lack of integration. 92% of all Iraqi residents in Denmark disagree with homosexuality and 50% of those with a Turkish background believe that men should have first refusal on vacant jobs. These are statistics that Denmark's local councils and authorities should take into consideration when formulating integration policies, according to the think tank. "It's up to administrators at local level to stress what is important for integration," says one member of the think tank. "Should a Muslim be forced to work alongside a homosexual, and how should a school teacher react when parents say that their son's education is far more important than their daughter's. There has to be a clear policy."
Clearly explosive stuff, but these are questions people ask, especially when immigrants coming into a country do not seem to value the same things at a basic level that the other citizens do. Hence the question: What does it mean to be Danish? Or to be American? Considering the conflicts of today, can a person be both a "good Muslim" and a "good Dane"? How about a "good American"?
For the Danish, it is the question of Muslims. For Americans, the question is increasingly about Latinos, although the code words will be about "illegals". I watched an interesting show on BBC world this weekend called "The Doha Debates" where this British guy hosts a debate in front of an audience in Dubai on controversial topics. This week was the wearing of the face veil. Many women were indignant that people were not willing to just look in their eyes and see their heart, but insisted on seeing their face too. The question there was one of integration too. If you are an immigrant, is it OK to keep yourself clearly apart from your new country through the wearing of a face veil or anything else? How much of yourself do you have to sacrifice to fit in? Should you even sacrifice at all?
They did not come to a conclusion in that show, and we do not have an answer to the immigration question. The questions posed by the report in Denmark are interesting. I believe a person should have absolute freedom to see the doctor of his or her choice. If you want only female doctors, so be it. If you are a black person and do not want to see a white doctor, that may be a foolish attitude, but I think it is to your benefit to see a doctor with whom you are comfortable. Men should NOT have precedence over women. We live in a society where everyone is considered equal in the eyes of the law, and to give men preference would be discrimination.
I am also terribly sorry that 92% of Iraqi immigrants disagree with homosexuality (not sure how you can disagree with a fact), but they can be as prejudiced as they want in their homes. If you do not like having an openly gay coworker, get another damn job. It is YOUR problem, not the gay worker's. And if a parent tells a teacher that his son's education is more important than his daughter's...so what? As a teacher, you are not asked to agree or disagree with parenting styles or choices. You teach the child you have in your classroom, and if the parents refuse to get help for a female child because she doesn't have a penis, there is not much you can do.
If, as an immigrant, having a culture where women are subverient to men and where freedoms are based on religious law, gay people are not tolerated, etc....why in the world would you move to a Western nation? Especially when you know that nation has laws which directly conflict with your deeply held personal beliefs? Oh, is it about the opportunity to make money? Well, good. Have you ever considered that the freedoms you find so offensive in that society have been the basis for that opportunity to make money? Which is more important to you: suppressing women and gays or making a good living? Life is sometimes full of these hard choices, especially for an immigrant.
I think immigrants should honor their culture, language, and history. But I think too that there must be a desire to fully enter the life of your new nation. Maybe that means learning English (which in the US, we should help you do). Maybe that means gritting your teeth when you are "forced" to work with an openly gay colleague and not say or do anything about it. Maybe it means having to accept authority from a woman over you. Both the immigrant and the new nation have a duty to each other to meet in the middle. If one side refuses, the integration will never occur.
The question I am pondering is what does it mean for an immigrant to integrate into his/her adopted nation? The United States is a land of immigrants, but we have struggled with that throughout our history. At various points of US history, the Irish, the Italians, the Eastern Europeans, and finally, the Latinos have all received ferocious push back from "US born" citizens. Currently, we have seen much bigotry from the GOP on the matter of suppressing the use of Spanish or enacting draconian measures to stop illegal immigration.
Yet, as a nation of immigrants, the US is unique in that there is an understanding of what it means to be American, at least on the basic level. We have a set of ideals, which we sometimes do not fulfill very well, that guide us. These ideals are embodied by the Declaration of Independence and the United States Constitution. Our system of government and concept of liberty is what defines us as Americans, although we fight vociferously about what it all means exactly. There is now an argument whether the English language is essential to the American identity, since our founding documents are all in English and we have traditionally spoken English. I do not know the answer to that question, although in our public life together as Americans, I think we should agree to conduct ourselves in English. I also do not want to deny anyone their heritage or their language, because it is our diversity of backgrounds that has made the US strong.
The Danish are struggling with what it means to be Danish. They do have a constitution, but Denmark itself as a land and a people are far older than that document. The Dane are an ancient people whose ancestors were Vikings and who once ruled all of Scandanavia. As Africans and Muslims flood to Europe to escape hardships in their homelands, the question of integration has risen its ugly head.
In today's US Embassy news update, there was discussion of a new report coming out today. It asks: Should men have precedence over women when applying for a job? And is it OK to demand to be examined by a doctor of one's own gender? According to a report to be published today by a group called "Think-Tank for Better Integration" (sounds like an anti-immigrant group named by a Republican...like the jokester who named Bush's open pollution law the "Clear Skies Initiative"), the answer to both questions is no – but according to many immigrants from non-Western countries the answer is yes.
The report, based on a survey of the attitudes and values of foreigners in Danish society, states that many immigrants' "cultural baggage" plays a decisive role in their lack of integration. 92% of all Iraqi residents in Denmark disagree with homosexuality and 50% of those with a Turkish background believe that men should have first refusal on vacant jobs. These are statistics that Denmark's local councils and authorities should take into consideration when formulating integration policies, according to the think tank. "It's up to administrators at local level to stress what is important for integration," says one member of the think tank. "Should a Muslim be forced to work alongside a homosexual, and how should a school teacher react when parents say that their son's education is far more important than their daughter's. There has to be a clear policy."
Clearly explosive stuff, but these are questions people ask, especially when immigrants coming into a country do not seem to value the same things at a basic level that the other citizens do. Hence the question: What does it mean to be Danish? Or to be American? Considering the conflicts of today, can a person be both a "good Muslim" and a "good Dane"? How about a "good American"?
For the Danish, it is the question of Muslims. For Americans, the question is increasingly about Latinos, although the code words will be about "illegals". I watched an interesting show on BBC world this weekend called "The Doha Debates" where this British guy hosts a debate in front of an audience in Dubai on controversial topics. This week was the wearing of the face veil. Many women were indignant that people were not willing to just look in their eyes and see their heart, but insisted on seeing their face too. The question there was one of integration too. If you are an immigrant, is it OK to keep yourself clearly apart from your new country through the wearing of a face veil or anything else? How much of yourself do you have to sacrifice to fit in? Should you even sacrifice at all?
They did not come to a conclusion in that show, and we do not have an answer to the immigration question. The questions posed by the report in Denmark are interesting. I believe a person should have absolute freedom to see the doctor of his or her choice. If you want only female doctors, so be it. If you are a black person and do not want to see a white doctor, that may be a foolish attitude, but I think it is to your benefit to see a doctor with whom you are comfortable. Men should NOT have precedence over women. We live in a society where everyone is considered equal in the eyes of the law, and to give men preference would be discrimination.
I am also terribly sorry that 92% of Iraqi immigrants disagree with homosexuality (not sure how you can disagree with a fact), but they can be as prejudiced as they want in their homes. If you do not like having an openly gay coworker, get another damn job. It is YOUR problem, not the gay worker's. And if a parent tells a teacher that his son's education is more important than his daughter's...so what? As a teacher, you are not asked to agree or disagree with parenting styles or choices. You teach the child you have in your classroom, and if the parents refuse to get help for a female child because she doesn't have a penis, there is not much you can do.
If, as an immigrant, having a culture where women are subverient to men and where freedoms are based on religious law, gay people are not tolerated, etc....why in the world would you move to a Western nation? Especially when you know that nation has laws which directly conflict with your deeply held personal beliefs? Oh, is it about the opportunity to make money? Well, good. Have you ever considered that the freedoms you find so offensive in that society have been the basis for that opportunity to make money? Which is more important to you: suppressing women and gays or making a good living? Life is sometimes full of these hard choices, especially for an immigrant.
I think immigrants should honor their culture, language, and history. But I think too that there must be a desire to fully enter the life of your new nation. Maybe that means learning English (which in the US, we should help you do). Maybe that means gritting your teeth when you are "forced" to work with an openly gay colleague and not say or do anything about it. Maybe it means having to accept authority from a woman over you. Both the immigrant and the new nation have a duty to each other to meet in the middle. If one side refuses, the integration will never occur.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Copenhagen Riots Follow-up
I have discovered more information thanks to a news service that the US Embassy sends out to all Americans stationed in Denmark. First, the situation has been calm since the weekend, and nothing happened Monday or Tuesday as they tore down the Youth House.
The new owners of the Youth House (who got a court order evicting the youth and demolishing the building) are a fundamentalist Christian sect in Denmark called Faderhuset. Faderhuset was founded in 1990 by the married couple Knut and Ruth Evensen who are still involved in its leadership. Both have been involved in Christian movements since the 1970s. They started their own religious community in the beginning of the 1980s in the Nørrebro district of Copenhagen. As of January 2007, the church has 120 members and is an approved religious community by the Danish state. Apparently this fact is well known on the "street" level, but the press make no mention of it. The US Embassy newsletter, though, has no hesistation, which is as it should be.
Before last week's riots, the Youth House students had rejected an offer to take over a closed school near their location. This was the final offer by the Copenhagen City Council, which is furious at the amount of damage the riots have cost. The spokesman for the controlling Social Democrats said that he had "no wish to enter into any form of dialogue with tehse people or spent time looking for alternative accomodation for them." This from a political party that is to the left of center in Denmark! I am not sure why the students rejected the offer for a free new place, other than sheer stubbornness in the righteousness of their cause. The result is that they are now either arrested or homeless.
Ruth Evensen, the leader of the Faderhuset sect (not sure where the husband is in all this...and I thought fundamentalists did not like women as leaders...or is that only in the USA?), has been forced to hire bodyguards. She has received numerous death threats related to the case with the Youth House, and the threats have escalated since riots began last week.
That is not the only person being targeted either. Someone vandalised Mayor of Copenhagen Ritt Bjerregaard's private residence by carving out a large '69' in her front door, a direct reference to the Youth House's address at Jagtvej 69. The buildup to a massive protest outside city hall this Saturday seems set. The question is, will violence continue to be avoided now that the leftist youth have nothing to lose? Their Youth House is rubble now, and even workers are wearing full face coverings to protect their identities. Companies have hidden logos to protect themselves too as the demolition and removal continues.
Faderhuset plans a building to house a Christian café and cultural activities. Not sure what a Chrisitan café means. Will they only use Holy Water for the coffee and tea? Sell Jesus biscuits? Napkins with "Repent Now!" written in Danish? And with the trouble they have experienced from buying the Youth House, evicting the inhabitants, and then demolishing the building, do they imagine that Youth activists will let their new building sit in peace? I do not even know how they will build on the spot without fear of sabotage. What construction company would take the risk? Maybe some of our American fundies can "help" out against what I am sure they would consider "attacks by the forces of Satan on a Godly group." Shoot, I am sure that more than one gay person lived in the House too, so they could make it part of the "Gay Agenda" to conquer the world and force heterosexuals into gay relationships.
I wonder what the motives of the Faderhuset were in buying the Youth House, which has been well known since 1982. Was it to get close to their leaders' roots in Nørrebro? Didn't they forsee the problems they would have with buying this house and taking the steps have taken to possess it? They were within their legal rights, and the students should have taken the deal for the alternative property that would have been theirs outright. In this situation, they all lose.
The new owners of the Youth House (who got a court order evicting the youth and demolishing the building) are a fundamentalist Christian sect in Denmark called Faderhuset. Faderhuset was founded in 1990 by the married couple Knut and Ruth Evensen who are still involved in its leadership. Both have been involved in Christian movements since the 1970s. They started their own religious community in the beginning of the 1980s in the Nørrebro district of Copenhagen. As of January 2007, the church has 120 members and is an approved religious community by the Danish state. Apparently this fact is well known on the "street" level, but the press make no mention of it. The US Embassy newsletter, though, has no hesistation, which is as it should be.
Before last week's riots, the Youth House students had rejected an offer to take over a closed school near their location. This was the final offer by the Copenhagen City Council, which is furious at the amount of damage the riots have cost. The spokesman for the controlling Social Democrats said that he had "no wish to enter into any form of dialogue with tehse people or spent time looking for alternative accomodation for them." This from a political party that is to the left of center in Denmark! I am not sure why the students rejected the offer for a free new place, other than sheer stubbornness in the righteousness of their cause. The result is that they are now either arrested or homeless.
Ruth Evensen, the leader of the Faderhuset sect (not sure where the husband is in all this...and I thought fundamentalists did not like women as leaders...or is that only in the USA?), has been forced to hire bodyguards. She has received numerous death threats related to the case with the Youth House, and the threats have escalated since riots began last week.
That is not the only person being targeted either. Someone vandalised Mayor of Copenhagen Ritt Bjerregaard's private residence by carving out a large '69' in her front door, a direct reference to the Youth House's address at Jagtvej 69. The buildup to a massive protest outside city hall this Saturday seems set. The question is, will violence continue to be avoided now that the leftist youth have nothing to lose? Their Youth House is rubble now, and even workers are wearing full face coverings to protect their identities. Companies have hidden logos to protect themselves too as the demolition and removal continues.
Faderhuset plans a building to house a Christian café and cultural activities. Not sure what a Chrisitan café means. Will they only use Holy Water for the coffee and tea? Sell Jesus biscuits? Napkins with "Repent Now!" written in Danish? And with the trouble they have experienced from buying the Youth House, evicting the inhabitants, and then demolishing the building, do they imagine that Youth activists will let their new building sit in peace? I do not even know how they will build on the spot without fear of sabotage. What construction company would take the risk? Maybe some of our American fundies can "help" out against what I am sure they would consider "attacks by the forces of Satan on a Godly group." Shoot, I am sure that more than one gay person lived in the House too, so they could make it part of the "Gay Agenda" to conquer the world and force heterosexuals into gay relationships.
I wonder what the motives of the Faderhuset were in buying the Youth House, which has been well known since 1982. Was it to get close to their leaders' roots in Nørrebro? Didn't they forsee the problems they would have with buying this house and taking the steps have taken to possess it? They were within their legal rights, and the students should have taken the deal for the alternative property that would have been theirs outright. In this situation, they all lose.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Riots in Copenhagen!
Imagine my surprise when, Thursday evening, I discovered pictures of cars ablaze, police in riot gear, and breathless Danish TV reporters covering it all LIVE in downtown Copenhagen. The TV reporters were really quite dramatic, although I could not understand what they were saying. I found out later, they were describing the scene as a "war zone".
Copenhagen and Denmark are such nice, peaceful, and friendly places. The Danes are quite possibly the most orderly people I have seen. Even their riots seem orderly, and amazingly enough, no one died. You can be sure in the United States, people would be killed in such riots. The rioters threw things at the police, but no one had a gun or started shooting.
The reason behind this rioting is a long simmering controversy over something called "UNGDOMSHUSET" or Youth House. In the early 80s, this building was abandoned, but still owned by the city. Leftist youth groups, made up of mostly Communists and hard left Socialists (I am told), started squatting on the property, turning it into a sort of commune. The city did not do much to evict them, and the situation has remained for the past 25 years.
In 2000, the city finally sold the property to a mysterious "Christian Group". I say "mysterious" only because no one in the media will name this group. It is unclear if it is the Danish state church or some other organization. Yet, I would think the identity of the group would be important. Why did they agree to buy a property they had to know was occupied?
Upon sale, the group went to court to get an eviction notice. The students fought back, saying that the city had no right to sell "their" house while it was occupied. The courts disagreed, and an order of eviction was entered. That brings us to Thursday, March 2 when the riots began.
The students protested by overturning cars, setting them on fire, setting fire to police barriers in the area, and throwing bottles, rocks, etc at the police. The police have arrested over 500 people during the weekend, and everyone was urged to stay away from downtown Copenhagen. The police have tightened border controls, because this Youth House is a rallying cry for far left groups throughout Europe.
The interesting thing about this situation for me is that under US property law, the students would long ago have seized title over the Youth House. They would have done this under the concept of Adverse Possession. From 1982 onward, the city did nothing to exercise its legal property rights or dominion over the building. They sat back while the students seized the building, lived in it, and passed it on to other students. In the US, when you neglect your property as it is being publicly seized and used by someone else for a period of 7 years, you lose that property. It is as if you legally made a gift of it by abandoning it. So around 1990, those students could have had title in US courts. Not so in Danish courts.
The building is being demolished so the police are expecting things to quiet down. However, that may not be the case for long. On a website devoted to the students, plans for major protests this weekend are in order. Hopefully, it will be peaceful.
The sad thing in all this to me is the lack of US coverage of this event. I went online to let my mom know quickly that I was OK, and she said, "What riots?" Same for my friends. No one had any idea that anything was happening in Copenhagen. The US papers said nothing. A bus full of ball players crashes on I-75 in Atlanta, and every news website in the world headlines the event. I would think that a peaceful city like Copenhagen exploding into riots would also merit coverage.
To educate my readers on this issue, I refer you to the following articles:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/6414657.stm
http://www.ungdomshuset.dk/en.php3?id_rubrique=4
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6414481.stm
And if you can perchance read Danish, the best coverage is probably found here:http://politiken.dk/
Copenhagen and Denmark are such nice, peaceful, and friendly places. The Danes are quite possibly the most orderly people I have seen. Even their riots seem orderly, and amazingly enough, no one died. You can be sure in the United States, people would be killed in such riots. The rioters threw things at the police, but no one had a gun or started shooting.
The reason behind this rioting is a long simmering controversy over something called "UNGDOMSHUSET" or Youth House. In the early 80s, this building was abandoned, but still owned by the city. Leftist youth groups, made up of mostly Communists and hard left Socialists (I am told), started squatting on the property, turning it into a sort of commune. The city did not do much to evict them, and the situation has remained for the past 25 years.
In 2000, the city finally sold the property to a mysterious "Christian Group". I say "mysterious" only because no one in the media will name this group. It is unclear if it is the Danish state church or some other organization. Yet, I would think the identity of the group would be important. Why did they agree to buy a property they had to know was occupied?
Upon sale, the group went to court to get an eviction notice. The students fought back, saying that the city had no right to sell "their" house while it was occupied. The courts disagreed, and an order of eviction was entered. That brings us to Thursday, March 2 when the riots began.
The students protested by overturning cars, setting them on fire, setting fire to police barriers in the area, and throwing bottles, rocks, etc at the police. The police have arrested over 500 people during the weekend, and everyone was urged to stay away from downtown Copenhagen. The police have tightened border controls, because this Youth House is a rallying cry for far left groups throughout Europe.
The interesting thing about this situation for me is that under US property law, the students would long ago have seized title over the Youth House. They would have done this under the concept of Adverse Possession. From 1982 onward, the city did nothing to exercise its legal property rights or dominion over the building. They sat back while the students seized the building, lived in it, and passed it on to other students. In the US, when you neglect your property as it is being publicly seized and used by someone else for a period of 7 years, you lose that property. It is as if you legally made a gift of it by abandoning it. So around 1990, those students could have had title in US courts. Not so in Danish courts.
The building is being demolished so the police are expecting things to quiet down. However, that may not be the case for long. On a website devoted to the students, plans for major protests this weekend are in order. Hopefully, it will be peaceful.
The sad thing in all this to me is the lack of US coverage of this event. I went online to let my mom know quickly that I was OK, and she said, "What riots?" Same for my friends. No one had any idea that anything was happening in Copenhagen. The US papers said nothing. A bus full of ball players crashes on I-75 in Atlanta, and every news website in the world headlines the event. I would think that a peaceful city like Copenhagen exploding into riots would also merit coverage.
To educate my readers on this issue, I refer you to the following articles:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/6414657.stm
http://www.ungdomshuset.dk/en.php3?id_rubrique=4
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6414481.stm
And if you can perchance read Danish, the best coverage is probably found here:http://politiken.dk/
Friday, March 2, 2007
Copenhagen - Part 6
Monday, February 26, 2007 – Thursday, March 1, 2007
This week has been SLOW, SLOW, SLOW. At work, the one thing I have been able to do is prod them to think about how to get answers from the countries (mostly Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union) for whom WHO is paying the way. All the countries have to do is nominate someone to go. Yet so many of them have not responded. The former Soviet states have done the best, and we almost have answers from all of them. Eastern Europe, not so much, which is ironic, since the meeting is being held in their neighborhood!
Ole and I have been writing steadily, which is nice. I even called him for a few minutes before bed on Monday to say hello. I linked him to this blog, and I guess he has read it because he said it was nice to read about my life and know more about me. People have asked me for his picture, but the only picture I have of him right now is from his boyfriend.dk account, and they have cleverly set it up so you cannot swipe it off the site. Never fear, though, I should be able to get a picture this weekend when I go see him in Odense. He invited me to come this weekend to his home and see where he lives. I agreed to come.
I am looking forward to it. Seeing someone in their home setting is usually quite revealing, and I think it will give me more insights into who he is. I also look forward to seeing his artwork. He spent all night Tuesday painting in some kind of inspired frenzy of creativity. Once I get a better feel of what kind of artist he is, I will probably hook him up with Yonsenia for an artist-to-artist critique. It seems to be the kind of thing he craves, and even though he is untrained, he has been allowed to show his work in a gallery or two.
I have had some interesting developments politically too. The Murphy Reception for YDG apparently went really well. The place was packed with people, and we made a good bit of money. Not as much as we had hoped, but in a time where money for Democrats in Georgia is hard to come by, we did very well. It will help us springboard further fundraising as the year goes on. The other thing going on is constant chatter of who might be running for what. So far, no seems to be preparing to challenge me for President, which is good.
The interesting thing is that there could be a scenario where a couple of races are contested, and some races have no candidates at all. Things are fluid though, so a lot can change between now and April. Elections are good, but they can be divisive, and some might argue that the epic Billy-Preston fight still has some lingering ill effects. A good deal of that is people taking their marbles and going home when "their side" doesn't win. Sometimes you have to stick it out, especially if you really do care. If I had just given up when I was in high school and constantly got my ass beat for student council offices by the Athlete of my choice, I never would have accomplished the things I did as an appointed officer or won Student Council Member of the Year twice. It is much better to win, I agree. But some people might just run in the wrong year, and if they stay engaged, could easily win next year. We'll see. I am still hopeful to have a really great convention free of divisive in-fighting.
I want YDG to enter the new term with a focus on the future, building on our successes, and letting go of past grudges. Now more than ever, we need to be a united force for ourselves, and the Democratic Party of Georgia as a whole. YDG will be key to the resurrection of the state party. We are doing really good work now, and we can take it to the next level if we work together and keep our eye on the goal of strengthening the party and getting Democrats elected.
I finally discovered how to work the Laundromat too. I was confused at first, but some kind lady helped me out when she realized I could not read Danish. Of course, I put the detergent and fabric softener in the wrong containers. I guessed based on which ones I use at home, and I guessed wrong, but the clothes still got clean. I will save significant money by using the Laundromat, which is nice.
Thursday promised to be another boring day, especially after Jackie forgot to call me and patch me into the all-GMB phone call! Oh well, probably not a huge loss, but I still wanted to be part of it. I left early to meet Jacob Rasmussen, the President of IFLRY (International Federation of Liberal Youth). He lives and works in Copenhagen, so I had emailed him to see if we could have a chance for a friendly meeting.
I met him outside the Hellerup station at 5pm, and luckily, he looked like his picture on the IFLRY site. We went to the Café Apotek (literally Pharmacy Café) which is at the corner of the intersection where the Hellerup station is. We had a great time. We shared some beers, talked a lot of politics, and spent four hours together. He is certainly a fellow political junkie, although he works on the international level. I learned a lot about how Danish politics works, and it quite different from the US system. However, it seems to work, and that cannot always be said (especially since 2000) about American elections. On the Danish political scale, Jacob's Liberal party is just to the right of center. His philosophy would easily work within the Democratic party, though. It is very interesting to me that Republicans are far to the right of even the most right wing parties in Europe. I am pretty sure that is NOT a compliment to the GOP either.
Jacob will be having an IFLRY executive board meeting in Dallas in conjunction with the YDA National Convention. That should be really fun. I also offered Jacob an invitation to Atlanta anytime he likes. He flies through Atlanta a lot on business and political trips. I think our group in Georgia would like him a lot, especially our women. Blond haired, blue eyed Dane with an accent, and the accent alone would make many of them go ga-ga. Shoot, if he was on my team, I would go ga-ga. He's not buff like many Danes I have found, but he is still a good looking guy. I found out from him that Mortensen of the Atlanta Falcons is a Dane, and he is very popular in this country.
Going home from the meeting with Jacob, I stopped to get a small pizza for dinner. The TV was on, and the screen was filled what looked like a riot. Turns out there was a riot in Copenhagen yesterday, and the 'unrest' is expected to continue into the weekend. The story is carried in English on BBC. The left wing students (mostly of Communist extraction) have been squatting in this building for years, and they are finally being evicted. The odd thing was that no one has been hurt. No bullets fired, no blood shed. That would NOT be the case in the US if that happened there. Even rioting, the Danes are civilized about it.
This week has been SLOW, SLOW, SLOW. At work, the one thing I have been able to do is prod them to think about how to get answers from the countries (mostly Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union) for whom WHO is paying the way. All the countries have to do is nominate someone to go. Yet so many of them have not responded. The former Soviet states have done the best, and we almost have answers from all of them. Eastern Europe, not so much, which is ironic, since the meeting is being held in their neighborhood!
Ole and I have been writing steadily, which is nice. I even called him for a few minutes before bed on Monday to say hello. I linked him to this blog, and I guess he has read it because he said it was nice to read about my life and know more about me. People have asked me for his picture, but the only picture I have of him right now is from his boyfriend.dk account, and they have cleverly set it up so you cannot swipe it off the site. Never fear, though, I should be able to get a picture this weekend when I go see him in Odense. He invited me to come this weekend to his home and see where he lives. I agreed to come.
I am looking forward to it. Seeing someone in their home setting is usually quite revealing, and I think it will give me more insights into who he is. I also look forward to seeing his artwork. He spent all night Tuesday painting in some kind of inspired frenzy of creativity. Once I get a better feel of what kind of artist he is, I will probably hook him up with Yonsenia for an artist-to-artist critique. It seems to be the kind of thing he craves, and even though he is untrained, he has been allowed to show his work in a gallery or two.
I have had some interesting developments politically too. The Murphy Reception for YDG apparently went really well. The place was packed with people, and we made a good bit of money. Not as much as we had hoped, but in a time where money for Democrats in Georgia is hard to come by, we did very well. It will help us springboard further fundraising as the year goes on. The other thing going on is constant chatter of who might be running for what. So far, no seems to be preparing to challenge me for President, which is good.
The interesting thing is that there could be a scenario where a couple of races are contested, and some races have no candidates at all. Things are fluid though, so a lot can change between now and April. Elections are good, but they can be divisive, and some might argue that the epic Billy-Preston fight still has some lingering ill effects. A good deal of that is people taking their marbles and going home when "their side" doesn't win. Sometimes you have to stick it out, especially if you really do care. If I had just given up when I was in high school and constantly got my ass beat for student council offices by the Athlete of my choice, I never would have accomplished the things I did as an appointed officer or won Student Council Member of the Year twice. It is much better to win, I agree. But some people might just run in the wrong year, and if they stay engaged, could easily win next year. We'll see. I am still hopeful to have a really great convention free of divisive in-fighting.
I want YDG to enter the new term with a focus on the future, building on our successes, and letting go of past grudges. Now more than ever, we need to be a united force for ourselves, and the Democratic Party of Georgia as a whole. YDG will be key to the resurrection of the state party. We are doing really good work now, and we can take it to the next level if we work together and keep our eye on the goal of strengthening the party and getting Democrats elected.
I finally discovered how to work the Laundromat too. I was confused at first, but some kind lady helped me out when she realized I could not read Danish. Of course, I put the detergent and fabric softener in the wrong containers. I guessed based on which ones I use at home, and I guessed wrong, but the clothes still got clean. I will save significant money by using the Laundromat, which is nice.
Thursday promised to be another boring day, especially after Jackie forgot to call me and patch me into the all-GMB phone call! Oh well, probably not a huge loss, but I still wanted to be part of it. I left early to meet Jacob Rasmussen, the President of IFLRY (International Federation of Liberal Youth). He lives and works in Copenhagen, so I had emailed him to see if we could have a chance for a friendly meeting.
I met him outside the Hellerup station at 5pm, and luckily, he looked like his picture on the IFLRY site. We went to the Café Apotek (literally Pharmacy Café) which is at the corner of the intersection where the Hellerup station is. We had a great time. We shared some beers, talked a lot of politics, and spent four hours together. He is certainly a fellow political junkie, although he works on the international level. I learned a lot about how Danish politics works, and it quite different from the US system. However, it seems to work, and that cannot always be said (especially since 2000) about American elections. On the Danish political scale, Jacob's Liberal party is just to the right of center. His philosophy would easily work within the Democratic party, though. It is very interesting to me that Republicans are far to the right of even the most right wing parties in Europe. I am pretty sure that is NOT a compliment to the GOP either.
Jacob will be having an IFLRY executive board meeting in Dallas in conjunction with the YDA National Convention. That should be really fun. I also offered Jacob an invitation to Atlanta anytime he likes. He flies through Atlanta a lot on business and political trips. I think our group in Georgia would like him a lot, especially our women. Blond haired, blue eyed Dane with an accent, and the accent alone would make many of them go ga-ga. Shoot, if he was on my team, I would go ga-ga. He's not buff like many Danes I have found, but he is still a good looking guy. I found out from him that Mortensen of the Atlanta Falcons is a Dane, and he is very popular in this country.
Going home from the meeting with Jacob, I stopped to get a small pizza for dinner. The TV was on, and the screen was filled what looked like a riot. Turns out there was a riot in Copenhagen yesterday, and the 'unrest' is expected to continue into the weekend. The story is carried in English on BBC. The left wing students (mostly of Communist extraction) have been squatting in this building for years, and they are finally being evicted. The odd thing was that no one has been hurt. No bullets fired, no blood shed. That would NOT be the case in the US if that happened there. Even rioting, the Danes are civilized about it.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Copenhagen - Part 5
Monday, February 19, 2007 – Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The days are becoming rather routine and mundane, so I haven't seen the need to write in this journal daily. Perhaps I should be more disciplined, but oh well. Monday was pretty laid back, until the end of the day. We were scheduled to have our meeting with Nedret at 4pm, but she claimed it wasn't on her calendar, and we would have to wait. So we wait until after 5pm. Then we sat there, and hashed out this program agenda, but it devolved into a discussion that sounded like strategic planning for the next five years. They also wanted to micromanage the exact content of the talks after agreeing upon the topics. I did not get out of there until after 6:30pm. Considering that should have been my day off for President's Day, I was none too thrilled.
Tuesday, I was greeted by news of the Communique from the Primates meeting of the Anglican Communion in Tanzania. I have lamented completely on this topic already, and I will likely keep doing so as events unfold. However, it is unnecessary to rehash it here. Just know that much of Tuesday for me, other than revising that program draft, was dealing with the emotional reaction I had to the communiqué and what it means.
I came back to the hotel to wait for my mom to call. She had promised to call during her lunch, and I ended up falling asleep. She did not call until about 8pm, which is 2pm in Lexington. Her new job is going well, although she is nervous that she won't regain her computer skills. I do not think that will be a problem, but she will have to get past her nerves.
Wednesday, I awoke to snow. It was coming down fairly steadily and with lots of wind. As the day progressed, the snow kept coming down, and the winds gusted to 30 mph. I had thought of going to Ash Wednesday service at the one Anglican church in Denmark, but decided against it. The public transportation (buses, trains, etc) stopped working as the storm grew worse after dark, so I made the right call. At one point, the wind knocked the umbrella I was using as a shield against my forehead and cut it. Once I made into my room, I stayed put.
Wednesday also saw my first P-staff meeting. It was interesting to watch. Nedret runs it like school marm. She is barely prepared herself, but goes after others. One guy, who I think does surveillance (his name is Andrian) was just savaged. Something about a list of contacts in countries, and the way she talked to him openly in the meeting about, it was obvious she felt he was too stupid to figure out how to make sure he had the right list. It probably did not help that he is obviously scared of her, and it was very much like watching an abused dog get scolded. If he had been a dog, he would have submissively peed on the floor. I don't mean to sound like I am making a joke. Then another guy tried to throw Eric under the bus on some issue by bringing up Eric's terms of reference. I later found out from Jim that there is history there, and that this guy used to be Nedret's favorite whipping boy until he learned to fit back and go after others. Now Nedret leaves him alone in meetings. It is a very interesting management style to watch, especially after working in AFRO. AFRO is much more in your face about things. This place is hierarchal, but it tries to give the illusion of being collaborative. Both require people who are willing to stand up for themselves and not take crap, even from supervisors. It is a very interesting dynamic indeed. I am amazed that WHO gets anything done with this kind of management practice.
Thursday, February 22, 2007 – Sunday, February 25, 2007
What a weekend this has been. I finally got the basic program for the program managers meeting approved and sent out. This means they have now committed themselves to this basic outline, although details can be tweaked. The aftermath of the snowstorm meant that much of the city shut down for the morning. I was surprised to discover that Copenhagen really does not get that much snow. The kind of snowstorm we had this week was rare, and getting that much snow in one day made everything, including the trains, shut down for a while. But the plows and the salt were applied quickly, and by midmorning, things were moving again. Since I walk to work, I did not have to worry about having a car snowed in. The 30 mph winds coming off the sea cut through your clothes and were quite nasty, to say the least.
Friday, we started to discuss who would present what presentations for the meeting. It is nice to attach names to things. We also went over the responses we have received, and it will soon be time to start badgering the laggards who have not responded. Things are moving nicely in that regard.
I left just after lunch to go to downtown Copenhagen and change out my paper ticket for the trip back to Atlanta. That was quite an ordeal. First, the poor Delta people here are using an archaic DOS-based system for reservations. I could not believe they forced them to use that! I thought Delta would surely have long ago moved to a web-based system, or at least a graphics based interface. Apparently, the Atlanta people have just moved for a web based system, but the foreign offices have not. No wonder Delta went bankrupt if they haven't even updated their reservation system!
The poor girl had to call for help, and it took over an hour for them to figure out how to get the computer to make the change that had been entered. Eventually, though, they did get it done, and I am set with my new ticket home on March 28. I did not approach the question of using miles to upgrade to first class, but I will try later J
After the ticket change adventure, I stopped by Hard Rock Café for lunch. I just felt like eating a good old fashioned American hamburger. The lunch was nice, and when I paid with my credit card, the server came back to ask me if I had gone to Virginia Tech since my Visa is branded with Virginia Tech. I told him I had, and he said that he had gone there too, graduating in 1999 with a marketing degree. We were on campus at the same time, since I graduated in 1997. He lived in Pritchard though, and quickly moved off campus his sophomore year. It was really cool to run into a fellow Hokie in Copenhagen. How random is that? Turns out, this guy's dad is Danish, so he came back to get an international marketing degree at the university here.
Next, I walked around downtown some and ducked into some pubs for drinks. Through a random series of events, I met this really cute Danish guy named Ole. The pronunciation is nothing like it looks in spelling. It is a very Danish name, and it is pronounced "Oooooooo-luh" Kind of like saying moo without the m and a quick "luh" at the end. This oooooooo sound is quite important in the Danish language, although I have trouble with it. But when Ole told me to think of the sound a cow makes, and take away the m, I got it. That trick has been quite useful.
Anyway, Ole is from Odense, which is about an hour by train to the east of Copenhagen. Copenhagen is on the island of Zealand, and Odense (the 3rd largest city in Denmark) is on the island between Zealand and the Jutland, which attaches to Germany at the northern tip of Europe. Ole is an artist, and he teaches children in grades 1-3 in an after school enrichment program. I will have to post pictures of him.
The evening progressed, and it became obvious that Ole and I were clicking quite well. We were sitting in Copenhagen's oldest gay bar, talking and eventually making out like a pair of horny teenagers. Those of you who know me realize how unusual that was. I am not a PDA type of person, and I usually don't appreciate people making out in public. But I am in a foreign country, and it happened. I also did not care. J
Being with him, it was like everyone in the room disappeared but the two of us. I have not had this kind of connection with someone in a VERY long time. It was very nice, and very dizzying. I had forgotten what it was like to make a connection like this, and I did not want it to end. Plus, Ole is an extremely good kisser.
Of course, there were complications. Ole had just been dumped by this guy three weeks ago that he was crazy about, and he has been going through a 30 yr old crisis. You know, the crisis when you realize you are no longer growing up but a full fledged adult, and take stock of your life in light of that. He is 30 yrs old, so it makes sense for him to go through this now. He had spent his week of winter vacation visiting friends in Copenhagen and also intensely analyzing his life. There was also the relatively unspoken reality that connection or not, I live in Atlanta and will be returning there in a month, and he lives an hour outside of Copenhagen.
We ended up closing the bar we were at, and then I just invited him to come back to Hellerup with me. He agreed at first, but as we crossed a plaza close to the train station, he changed his mind. He said he was sorry, but he could not get excited about someone from Atlanta, and he needed to get on with his life (English from non-native speakers can be quite blunt, I have discovered.). He thanked me for a wonderful evening, shook my hand, and said goodbye.
We had spent the past 8 hours together, talking about anything and everything. We ate, drank, kissed, and had a great time. While I understood where he was coming from, I had the sudden thought that I might never see him again. That this one evening, this one tremendous, wonderful, and magical evening, would be all that I would get. I am not ashamed to say that my eyes filled with tears. On the one hand, I had met a remarkable person and made a great connection. It is a connection I have not been able to make in Atlanta, and that I had wondered if I would ever make again. But the one person I make this connection with is someone who lives in the middle of Denmark and with whom I would, at best, have 4 weeks to get to know.
It was like God was teasing me. He was giving me a taste of the prize, but snatching it away just as quickly. I was grateful for the experience, but I resented how it was presented. Why couldn't it be with someone with whom there was a real chance that a relationship could bloom? What was the point of having me meet someone wonderful who lives a half world away from me?
To make matters worse, I discovered the trains stop running by 1am. The train station was dark, and I was alone, unsure how I would get back to the hotel. I made my way to the main train station where a taxi queue had formed, and I managed to get home that way. It cost me 200 kroner, which is about $50, but it beat walking all night. By the time I got to the hotel, it was 3:15am. Louie had left me a message to call him when I got back, but I figured he did not mean at 3am.
I could not sleep, and I was still soaring internally and aching at the same time over my evening with Ole. I so wished he had wanted to come back to the hotel with me. Even if it was just one night, it would have been wonderful. Of course, it would have only deepened my connection with him, but I didn't care about that.
I logged into the gay chat site here called boyfriend.dk. I had given Ole my contact information, and he had left me a message. He was sorry he ran off, and wanted to see me again. I messaged him back to ask if he really meant it. He immediately IMed me a response that he did, and he felt so stupid for walking away. He wanted to see me now. Was it possible for me to come back downtown?
At 3am, Hellerup is dead. The only reason a taxi would be there was from dropping someone off at my hotel. I told him the only way I could make it back downtown was to walk, and that would take several hours. I again told him he was welcome to come to my hotel. At this point, he agreed. He said he needed me that night, and in my heart of hearts, I was glad to see him type that. I told him where I was, and he was off to find a taxi.
He arrived just as he said he would, a half hour after signing off. He had better luck finding a taxi than I had earlier. I waited for him in the lobby, and took him up to my room. I will not go into details, but let us say it was just a very nice night. Although the single beds in my room are definitely NOT built for two. I did not rest very well, and neither did he, but just being with him was so very nice.
We finally got up around noon, and we continued talking more. It was during this time, that he asked me a question which gave me a revelation about my problem in the dating world. I forget the question he asked me, but it was pretty direct, and the answer just came tumbling out of my mouth. Then I realized what I had said and realized, "My God, that is what I have been doing!"
I had my heart broken badly in 1998, first by Morgan, and then on the rebound from him by Clarke (this is the guy who told me to do myself and the world a favor and commit suicide). Along with other factors (parents divorced that year, sold my childhood home - which messed me up more than I ever thought it would, and I lost my job), I tumbled into a very deep depression. This depression was a very dark hole, and it is a place I never EVER want to return. I do not know how many times a person can successfully come back from that kind of low, and I do not want to test it.
I realized that since 1998, I have been so fearful of being hurt like that again and falling into that kind depression (especially in light of my dad's suicide in 2001), that I have built a wall around my heart without realizing it. I will let someone in only so much. I am pretty open, and I have very close friends...so it is not like I shut myself off completely ... but there is an inner core, an inner vulnerability that I am afraid to expose. I am afraid because I know what can happen, and facing that kind of depression and heartache again frightens me so much, I have behaved in ways to be sure that does not happen. It is why I settled for Richard when I knew I did not love him passionately in the way a partner is supposed to love his man. I have been wholly unwilling to make myself vulnerable and to risk the heartache.....even though I know that in order to feel the joy, I must also be open to the possibility of pain. It is not guaranteed that I will be heartbroken, although I have acted like it is. So that was my big revelation this weekend.
Of course, now that I have identified the problem, the question is what to do about it. I decided to start this weekend with Ole and be open with him. I had to force myself to be vulnerable to him, to risk being hurt by him. At the very least, it would be good practice with someone who is relatively safe because of the mere fact of where we live. So he and I talked about this, and we also talked about the dual nature of a romantic relationship. You need not only the physical but the friendship component. You need to have a solid friendship, and things in common for a relationship to work. I had succeeded in making sure my friendships and emotional connections were far away from my physical connections. Marrying the two scared me so badly because of my last experience with it, that I had subconsciously been behaving in ways to make sure they stayed separate. Yet, that has left me alone and dissatisfied with my life. For Ole, he had pursued only the physical, and he wanted more than that.
We spent most of Saturday together too, sitting in a coffee shop, talking and watching people walk by on the Stroget below. It was around 9pm when we parted - me for Hellerup, and him for Odense. I made him promise me that he would write, and he did make that promise. Parting, I did not feel like I had the night before, where I thought I would never see him again. I am confident that I will. But I hoped it sooner rather than later.
I have no idea where this experience with Ole will lead. I know that I should not fall for him, since I am not moving to Copenhagen nor is he going to come to the United States. There is no logical way for the relationship to grow, but at the same time, I am here another month. I am here in Denmark now, and there is a connection with this man that I cannot deny, and I want to experience as much as possible, even if for a short period of time. And who knows where it could lead down the road. But I feel like he is a gift, and someone from whom I will learn a good deal about myself. It is why I cannot just let him go as a pleasant weekend memory of Copenhagen.
Sunday, I awoke, had some breakfast, and came back to nap. I was still tired from the lack of sleep on Friday night. I set the alarm for 1:30pm so that I could get ready for lunch at Jim Z's place. He came by to pick up myself and Denise. His house was neat. On the outside it does not look like much. Just a brown box, obviously built in the 1970s. However, it is on the water and the view is spectacular.
I had a great time at Jim's home. He wife is delightful. They are such cool people, and his kids were nice too. They had some of their friends over. Nina and Magnus are an American and Swedish couple. Magnus is a financier who works for a bank, and his wife is American. They were really cool people. We had a blast talking about politics, the Young Dems of Georgia, and a whole variety of topics. I had a rhubarb pie that had cherries in it and was delicious. We were returned to the hotel around 7pm, and I mixed up some soup packets I had bought from 7-11 as my dinner. I eventually was able to fall asleep, marveling at what a weekend it had been.
The days are becoming rather routine and mundane, so I haven't seen the need to write in this journal daily. Perhaps I should be more disciplined, but oh well. Monday was pretty laid back, until the end of the day. We were scheduled to have our meeting with Nedret at 4pm, but she claimed it wasn't on her calendar, and we would have to wait. So we wait until after 5pm. Then we sat there, and hashed out this program agenda, but it devolved into a discussion that sounded like strategic planning for the next five years. They also wanted to micromanage the exact content of the talks after agreeing upon the topics. I did not get out of there until after 6:30pm. Considering that should have been my day off for President's Day, I was none too thrilled.
Tuesday, I was greeted by news of the Communique from the Primates meeting of the Anglican Communion in Tanzania. I have lamented completely on this topic already, and I will likely keep doing so as events unfold. However, it is unnecessary to rehash it here. Just know that much of Tuesday for me, other than revising that program draft, was dealing with the emotional reaction I had to the communiqué and what it means.
I came back to the hotel to wait for my mom to call. She had promised to call during her lunch, and I ended up falling asleep. She did not call until about 8pm, which is 2pm in Lexington. Her new job is going well, although she is nervous that she won't regain her computer skills. I do not think that will be a problem, but she will have to get past her nerves.
Wednesday, I awoke to snow. It was coming down fairly steadily and with lots of wind. As the day progressed, the snow kept coming down, and the winds gusted to 30 mph. I had thought of going to Ash Wednesday service at the one Anglican church in Denmark, but decided against it. The public transportation (buses, trains, etc) stopped working as the storm grew worse after dark, so I made the right call. At one point, the wind knocked the umbrella I was using as a shield against my forehead and cut it. Once I made into my room, I stayed put.
Wednesday also saw my first P-staff meeting. It was interesting to watch. Nedret runs it like school marm. She is barely prepared herself, but goes after others. One guy, who I think does surveillance (his name is Andrian) was just savaged. Something about a list of contacts in countries, and the way she talked to him openly in the meeting about, it was obvious she felt he was too stupid to figure out how to make sure he had the right list. It probably did not help that he is obviously scared of her, and it was very much like watching an abused dog get scolded. If he had been a dog, he would have submissively peed on the floor. I don't mean to sound like I am making a joke. Then another guy tried to throw Eric under the bus on some issue by bringing up Eric's terms of reference. I later found out from Jim that there is history there, and that this guy used to be Nedret's favorite whipping boy until he learned to fit back and go after others. Now Nedret leaves him alone in meetings. It is a very interesting management style to watch, especially after working in AFRO. AFRO is much more in your face about things. This place is hierarchal, but it tries to give the illusion of being collaborative. Both require people who are willing to stand up for themselves and not take crap, even from supervisors. It is a very interesting dynamic indeed. I am amazed that WHO gets anything done with this kind of management practice.
Thursday, February 22, 2007 – Sunday, February 25, 2007
What a weekend this has been. I finally got the basic program for the program managers meeting approved and sent out. This means they have now committed themselves to this basic outline, although details can be tweaked. The aftermath of the snowstorm meant that much of the city shut down for the morning. I was surprised to discover that Copenhagen really does not get that much snow. The kind of snowstorm we had this week was rare, and getting that much snow in one day made everything, including the trains, shut down for a while. But the plows and the salt were applied quickly, and by midmorning, things were moving again. Since I walk to work, I did not have to worry about having a car snowed in. The 30 mph winds coming off the sea cut through your clothes and were quite nasty, to say the least.
Friday, we started to discuss who would present what presentations for the meeting. It is nice to attach names to things. We also went over the responses we have received, and it will soon be time to start badgering the laggards who have not responded. Things are moving nicely in that regard.
I left just after lunch to go to downtown Copenhagen and change out my paper ticket for the trip back to Atlanta. That was quite an ordeal. First, the poor Delta people here are using an archaic DOS-based system for reservations. I could not believe they forced them to use that! I thought Delta would surely have long ago moved to a web-based system, or at least a graphics based interface. Apparently, the Atlanta people have just moved for a web based system, but the foreign offices have not. No wonder Delta went bankrupt if they haven't even updated their reservation system!
The poor girl had to call for help, and it took over an hour for them to figure out how to get the computer to make the change that had been entered. Eventually, though, they did get it done, and I am set with my new ticket home on March 28. I did not approach the question of using miles to upgrade to first class, but I will try later J
After the ticket change adventure, I stopped by Hard Rock Café for lunch. I just felt like eating a good old fashioned American hamburger. The lunch was nice, and when I paid with my credit card, the server came back to ask me if I had gone to Virginia Tech since my Visa is branded with Virginia Tech. I told him I had, and he said that he had gone there too, graduating in 1999 with a marketing degree. We were on campus at the same time, since I graduated in 1997. He lived in Pritchard though, and quickly moved off campus his sophomore year. It was really cool to run into a fellow Hokie in Copenhagen. How random is that? Turns out, this guy's dad is Danish, so he came back to get an international marketing degree at the university here.
Next, I walked around downtown some and ducked into some pubs for drinks. Through a random series of events, I met this really cute Danish guy named Ole. The pronunciation is nothing like it looks in spelling. It is a very Danish name, and it is pronounced "Oooooooo-luh" Kind of like saying moo without the m and a quick "luh" at the end. This oooooooo sound is quite important in the Danish language, although I have trouble with it. But when Ole told me to think of the sound a cow makes, and take away the m, I got it. That trick has been quite useful.
Anyway, Ole is from Odense, which is about an hour by train to the east of Copenhagen. Copenhagen is on the island of Zealand, and Odense (the 3rd largest city in Denmark) is on the island between Zealand and the Jutland, which attaches to Germany at the northern tip of Europe. Ole is an artist, and he teaches children in grades 1-3 in an after school enrichment program. I will have to post pictures of him.
The evening progressed, and it became obvious that Ole and I were clicking quite well. We were sitting in Copenhagen's oldest gay bar, talking and eventually making out like a pair of horny teenagers. Those of you who know me realize how unusual that was. I am not a PDA type of person, and I usually don't appreciate people making out in public. But I am in a foreign country, and it happened. I also did not care. J
Being with him, it was like everyone in the room disappeared but the two of us. I have not had this kind of connection with someone in a VERY long time. It was very nice, and very dizzying. I had forgotten what it was like to make a connection like this, and I did not want it to end. Plus, Ole is an extremely good kisser.
Of course, there were complications. Ole had just been dumped by this guy three weeks ago that he was crazy about, and he has been going through a 30 yr old crisis. You know, the crisis when you realize you are no longer growing up but a full fledged adult, and take stock of your life in light of that. He is 30 yrs old, so it makes sense for him to go through this now. He had spent his week of winter vacation visiting friends in Copenhagen and also intensely analyzing his life. There was also the relatively unspoken reality that connection or not, I live in Atlanta and will be returning there in a month, and he lives an hour outside of Copenhagen.
We ended up closing the bar we were at, and then I just invited him to come back to Hellerup with me. He agreed at first, but as we crossed a plaza close to the train station, he changed his mind. He said he was sorry, but he could not get excited about someone from Atlanta, and he needed to get on with his life (English from non-native speakers can be quite blunt, I have discovered.). He thanked me for a wonderful evening, shook my hand, and said goodbye.
We had spent the past 8 hours together, talking about anything and everything. We ate, drank, kissed, and had a great time. While I understood where he was coming from, I had the sudden thought that I might never see him again. That this one evening, this one tremendous, wonderful, and magical evening, would be all that I would get. I am not ashamed to say that my eyes filled with tears. On the one hand, I had met a remarkable person and made a great connection. It is a connection I have not been able to make in Atlanta, and that I had wondered if I would ever make again. But the one person I make this connection with is someone who lives in the middle of Denmark and with whom I would, at best, have 4 weeks to get to know.
It was like God was teasing me. He was giving me a taste of the prize, but snatching it away just as quickly. I was grateful for the experience, but I resented how it was presented. Why couldn't it be with someone with whom there was a real chance that a relationship could bloom? What was the point of having me meet someone wonderful who lives a half world away from me?
To make matters worse, I discovered the trains stop running by 1am. The train station was dark, and I was alone, unsure how I would get back to the hotel. I made my way to the main train station where a taxi queue had formed, and I managed to get home that way. It cost me 200 kroner, which is about $50, but it beat walking all night. By the time I got to the hotel, it was 3:15am. Louie had left me a message to call him when I got back, but I figured he did not mean at 3am.
I could not sleep, and I was still soaring internally and aching at the same time over my evening with Ole. I so wished he had wanted to come back to the hotel with me. Even if it was just one night, it would have been wonderful. Of course, it would have only deepened my connection with him, but I didn't care about that.
I logged into the gay chat site here called boyfriend.dk. I had given Ole my contact information, and he had left me a message. He was sorry he ran off, and wanted to see me again. I messaged him back to ask if he really meant it. He immediately IMed me a response that he did, and he felt so stupid for walking away. He wanted to see me now. Was it possible for me to come back downtown?
At 3am, Hellerup is dead. The only reason a taxi would be there was from dropping someone off at my hotel. I told him the only way I could make it back downtown was to walk, and that would take several hours. I again told him he was welcome to come to my hotel. At this point, he agreed. He said he needed me that night, and in my heart of hearts, I was glad to see him type that. I told him where I was, and he was off to find a taxi.
He arrived just as he said he would, a half hour after signing off. He had better luck finding a taxi than I had earlier. I waited for him in the lobby, and took him up to my room. I will not go into details, but let us say it was just a very nice night. Although the single beds in my room are definitely NOT built for two. I did not rest very well, and neither did he, but just being with him was so very nice.
We finally got up around noon, and we continued talking more. It was during this time, that he asked me a question which gave me a revelation about my problem in the dating world. I forget the question he asked me, but it was pretty direct, and the answer just came tumbling out of my mouth. Then I realized what I had said and realized, "My God, that is what I have been doing!"
I had my heart broken badly in 1998, first by Morgan, and then on the rebound from him by Clarke (this is the guy who told me to do myself and the world a favor and commit suicide). Along with other factors (parents divorced that year, sold my childhood home - which messed me up more than I ever thought it would, and I lost my job), I tumbled into a very deep depression. This depression was a very dark hole, and it is a place I never EVER want to return. I do not know how many times a person can successfully come back from that kind of low, and I do not want to test it.
I realized that since 1998, I have been so fearful of being hurt like that again and falling into that kind depression (especially in light of my dad's suicide in 2001), that I have built a wall around my heart without realizing it. I will let someone in only so much. I am pretty open, and I have very close friends...so it is not like I shut myself off completely ... but there is an inner core, an inner vulnerability that I am afraid to expose. I am afraid because I know what can happen, and facing that kind of depression and heartache again frightens me so much, I have behaved in ways to be sure that does not happen. It is why I settled for Richard when I knew I did not love him passionately in the way a partner is supposed to love his man. I have been wholly unwilling to make myself vulnerable and to risk the heartache.....even though I know that in order to feel the joy, I must also be open to the possibility of pain. It is not guaranteed that I will be heartbroken, although I have acted like it is. So that was my big revelation this weekend.
Of course, now that I have identified the problem, the question is what to do about it. I decided to start this weekend with Ole and be open with him. I had to force myself to be vulnerable to him, to risk being hurt by him. At the very least, it would be good practice with someone who is relatively safe because of the mere fact of where we live. So he and I talked about this, and we also talked about the dual nature of a romantic relationship. You need not only the physical but the friendship component. You need to have a solid friendship, and things in common for a relationship to work. I had succeeded in making sure my friendships and emotional connections were far away from my physical connections. Marrying the two scared me so badly because of my last experience with it, that I had subconsciously been behaving in ways to make sure they stayed separate. Yet, that has left me alone and dissatisfied with my life. For Ole, he had pursued only the physical, and he wanted more than that.
We spent most of Saturday together too, sitting in a coffee shop, talking and watching people walk by on the Stroget below. It was around 9pm when we parted - me for Hellerup, and him for Odense. I made him promise me that he would write, and he did make that promise. Parting, I did not feel like I had the night before, where I thought I would never see him again. I am confident that I will. But I hoped it sooner rather than later.
I have no idea where this experience with Ole will lead. I know that I should not fall for him, since I am not moving to Copenhagen nor is he going to come to the United States. There is no logical way for the relationship to grow, but at the same time, I am here another month. I am here in Denmark now, and there is a connection with this man that I cannot deny, and I want to experience as much as possible, even if for a short period of time. And who knows where it could lead down the road. But I feel like he is a gift, and someone from whom I will learn a good deal about myself. It is why I cannot just let him go as a pleasant weekend memory of Copenhagen.
Sunday, I awoke, had some breakfast, and came back to nap. I was still tired from the lack of sleep on Friday night. I set the alarm for 1:30pm so that I could get ready for lunch at Jim Z's place. He came by to pick up myself and Denise. His house was neat. On the outside it does not look like much. Just a brown box, obviously built in the 1970s. However, it is on the water and the view is spectacular.
I had a great time at Jim's home. He wife is delightful. They are such cool people, and his kids were nice too. They had some of their friends over. Nina and Magnus are an American and Swedish couple. Magnus is a financier who works for a bank, and his wife is American. They were really cool people. We had a blast talking about politics, the Young Dems of Georgia, and a whole variety of topics. I had a rhubarb pie that had cherries in it and was delicious. We were returned to the hotel around 7pm, and I mixed up some soup packets I had bought from 7-11 as my dinner. I eventually was able to fall asleep, marveling at what a weekend it had been.
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